A few weeks back, this column looked into the plight of older women who had to opt for abortions when they believed they wouldn’t be able to cope with looking after an additional child. Christopher, 38, an analyst for a consultancy firm and a male reader wondered why male views weren’t considered in the said write-up; afterall, it takes two to get pregnant. His views: ‘’Abortion is seen as an almost entirely female issue.
However, it affects men too. I met Rose, a dental assistant eight years ago and fell for her instantly. As we were in our late 20s, we talked early on about what might happen if she accidentally became pregnant and both of us agreed we would want to keep the baby. Although I never dreamt it would happen as she was on the pill, I thought I knew where we stood.
“Then a couple of months into our relationship, Rose rang to say she’d had a dizzy spell and felt nauseous. I suggested she take a pregnancy test. I hadn’t been looking to become a father but would want to make it work. So when she rang me back to announce she was pregnant, her next words shocked me. ‘I’ve decided to have an abortion,’ she said simply, ‘I don’t want this baby and it’s my choice to make.’ Over the next few
weeks, we talked a lot. I felt powerless – all I could do was listen to
Rose’s reasons and try desperately to show her we could make things work. I even offered-to raise the child alone. My mum had constantly been on my back to give her grandchildren as I’m her only child. She would have gladly helped to look after the baby. But all my pleas fell on deaf ears. Ultimately, having an abortion was Rose’s right – I had no say in the matter. Afterall, it was her body.
