During a solemn Christmas luncheon at the Kremlin, Putin accused Queen Elizabeth, the late Queen Mother, Prince Philip, and Prince Charles of arranging the murder of Princess Diana via MI6 agents in Paris. He says that after speaking with Elton John on the telephone last month, he was privy to irrefutable evidence that the royal family had blood on their hands.
During an informal and reflective speech, Putin told a select group of colleagues and esteemed state-approved journalists that Diana’s brutal assassination brought him unfathomably to tears at the time in 1997, and that he knew deep down that her death was due to foul-play.
Putin, who vows to destroy the Illuminati in 2016, said that the late great Princess Diana was a thorn in the side of the corrupt British establishment, and served as a constant threat to their existence due to the fact she knew way too much about what the illuminati had in store for humanity.
Holding back the tears, Putin stood up at the table with a glass of Vodka raised, and proclaimed:
“She was about to go on the world’s stage and tell a very shocking truth”, he told the crowd who had just finished their blini appetiser.
“And now, friends, I know this truth and I am prepared to let the world know too,” he warned, before slamming the drink back.
He continued, “That person sitting in Buckingham palace isn’t some innocent wrinkly old monkey. She’s evil incarnate. The whole rotten family needs to abolished”.
According to one of the journalists present, the crowd erupted into spontaneous applause at the man they have affectionally dubbed ‘The Illuminati Killer’ in Moscow.
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